A testimony about getting a job.

 Dear God,

This is my testimony:

A long time ago, like 10 years back, I didn't have a chance to work at all, because the IMH doctor told me I wasn't ready for work yet. I started volunteering a lot. A lot. And I enjoyed the experiences that I had with the organisations.

Soon after, when I changed IMH doctor, she was ready to allow me to go for working life. I felt very blessed to be able to start working, this was about 3 to 4 years back.

I started working as a childcare teacher, because I wanted to touch the lives of many children. It didn't work out. I got retrenched. The childcare principal told me I was not fit enough to take on this job.

After many jobs that I went for, they failed me. And of course, I failed myself.

I didn't know what to do. When I finally work at MacDonalds, I found out that this job was the most suitable for me. I even got praised by many people who are in the Mac's crew. They even wanted to promote me.

But behold, I heard God's voice saying to me: Mildred, this job is not for you. Not suitable.'

I was a bit shocked. I told God that I wanted to work at Mac's. However I am pleasing God's Will in my life. I left the job. I left Mac's. I cried all the way back home because I know that I couldn't stay long for this job.

Sometimes God has a better plan after many failed tries and thus I tried to give up.

I have lost my hope. I didn't know what God is doing in my life.

I've let down the people who care about me, who had hopes on me that I would continue for long. I was disappointed.

Then one day, God told me this word: 'Money'.

God: 'Mildred, you cannot serve both Me and money.'

I told God that I just wanted to earn an income. But He said to me, 'Wait. Wait.'

God: 'no matter how far you go, without Me, you can do nothing.'

I started comparing to other people who have stable jobs in their working world.

And I look at myself, am I just not enough? Why is everyone working so hard in their jobs just to satisfy their stability and money?

I am not my own as I'm writing this down in my blog. God is guiding me. Believe it or not.

Really, I thought to myself, "I'm such a failure. I can't even sustain a job for at least two months. Ive let down and disappointed people to those who love and care for me."

Eventually, God revealed to me that Money has been on my mind for a bit. To earn money and become successful. 

But when someone becomes successful, what happens to their daily walk with God become? I find myself placing myself above God. I thought that I could do all things by myself.

But God gave me everything. EVERYTHING. From staying at IMH because I got persecuted, into someone that knows God is in control and He is my sole Provider. I know it sounds really harsh, but really, when you have lost everything, where can you go for stability and satisfaction? GOD. Him alone can satisfy. When I was at SGH staying overnight, all I thought was to trust in God for my future. 

And it came true. In that situation that I was in SGH lying down on the bed, I know that I have to trust and hold on to God. Knowing He will provide me, everything.

It wasnt an easy journey with God. But He promised to never leave nor abandon me and that He gives me His peace.

Now back to the 'money' part. God revealed to me about this topic about devoting my heart to Him, through a sermon by Pastor Peter Tan Chi. 

Am I devoting to myself and money, or am I fully devoting my heart to God? When I devote my heart to God, knowing He is the sole provider of my life, with Him; He takes care of everything else.

I'm not saying that you can choose to listen to yourself that you are capable of becoming successful is wrong. 

But when someone becomes successful in life, they tend to forget what God has provided for them. I am guilty of myself of this sin as well. I started forgetting about how God brought me through my persecution and staying in IMH for such a long time, till now I am starting to have the chance to work in the industry. I got to experience how the working world is like.

Sin is turning away from God. I was thinking a lot about my earning an income and money comes first into my mind. I have abandoned God for a while. 

In my nothingness, I realised that only God can satisfy me. Not money, not just because I am capable of doing things right or doing good works.

He wants my heart. Just, my heart. People look at the outward appearance, but GOD LOOKS AT THE HEART.

In this world you will have troubles, such as being looked down by people, getting disadvantaged from people around you and such. But Jesus, when I see Jesus on the Cross, I realised something valuable, even the Most High King suffered and become Nothing, so that in exchange of His life, we become someone so valuable to God.

This world is what it is. We cannot change it, but we can change ourselves to be the salt and light of the world. No matter where you are right now in the life God has given you, know that you are valuable to God.

And also, God gave me a potential partner. He is very understanding of me. 

And that's it. Not to go too detailed about this.

But God has blessed me so much for this guy who understands me so well and I see God's Faithfulness through him.

Everything has been given by God, in my life.

Thank you Pastor Peter Tan Chi. God spoke to me through this sermon.

Have hope. I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

:)